1. Targeted Crime
I will dress like a tourist, including reading maps in public places. This puts a huge target on your back for petty theft and other crime.
2. Money Saving
I will save you lots of money by suggesting buses/trains as opposed to short plane flights. This may result in two straight days of bumpy 10hr bus rides. Watch the sun rise and set while still on the bus. Awesome.
3. More Saving Money.
Who needs to pay for a navman when you have old fashioned tourists maps and regular stop offs at McDonalds for wifi? We’ll get there four hours later than planned, but we saved $8 a day.
4. And More Money Saving.
5. Look at all this money I save you!
People say you should go out to restaurants to experience local food. Or. OR. You could eat at Aldi.
6. Responsible fun
I will go to Oktoberfest sober and be annoyed at you for getting drunk. In fact, why drink on your holiday at all when water is FREE?
7. Safety first.
If we are in bunk beds I may/may not demand the bottom bunk, and then wake you up in the middle of the night to tell you, that you are too heavy for the top bunk and it may collapse under your weight and therefore we must swap (I can’t sleep if I think I’m going to die).
See!? I’m great. Want to come travel with me?
(on reflection this post should be called “7 Reasons I need to apologise to my husband”. Soz Joshie.)